The Australia Conspiracy

If you've glanced into Australian history, you probably know that it was originally discovered by British explorer James Cook.  You also likely know that they lost a war against emus, but we'll get into that later.  But heres the thing: There never was a James Cook.  Remember those emus that won the war? (See I said later) That was because humans were rebelling against the emu government and the emus were showing them who's boss.  But how did the myth of James Cook and humans running Australia begin?  Thats what we're here to find out.

Already, the emus encoded their true nature in an anagram of sorts.  Being smart enough not to do perfect English and to not have their explorers name super long, they go with "Emo Sock, Ja?" or James Cook.  That phrase might seem confusing to non Ancient Emu theorists like myself, but I can explain. The first word is pretty self explanatory.  Emus physically don't have the proper mouth shape to make the "Ou" sound, so their spelling of their species is "Emo".  The Second word is a bit more confusing, but its just the shortened version of society.  The last word of course is german for "Yes".  The entire phrase "Emu society yes", as well as the civil war against their humans is just a clever way of keeping themselves in history books so that their people don't try to leave them.  But why would emus be so obsessed with humans?  Ancient Emu Theorists have the answer.

Emus are sexually attracted to humans.  Thats it.  Google "Are emus s" and view the results.  Wake up.  Its time you all knew the truth.

One final piece of evidence is the one on the australian flag itself.  A constellation of sorts.

The Emu itself is hidden in the stars of the Australian flag.  This is all the proof we need.

On a side note, I hate how Australias flag has five seven-pronged stars and one five-pronged.  The inconsistency is terrible.  Also, I'm getting back into photoshop for the slicing season and I'm taking user submissions for pictures... So if you have any terrible high quality photos you want shopped post a link in the comments or something so I can ruin your image!  My resume includes utter trash things found on this blog.